Jokes of the Day
This page features 5 or so daily original monologue jokes, fake news headlines, or whatever…
October 9, 2008
- John McCain refuses to change underwear until the economy is fixed
- Kenyans less enthusiastic for Obama after learning his health plan won’t cover them
- New Gun ‘n Roses album expected to bring much-needed boost to economy
- McCain and SNL admit truth: Tina Fey IS Sarah Palin
October 8, 2008
Top 10 ways to improve the Presidential debate
10. Barack Obama ends every sentence with “Yeah, baby!!!”
9. Emeril Lagasse asks the questions while cooking snacks for the audience.
8. Special guest performance by Snoop Dogg.
7. Use moderator who doesn’t speak english.
6. Ask “boxers or briefs?” then make them prove it.
5. Have Alex Trebek say “No, I’m sorry, that is incorrect” after every response.
4. Show picture of Sarah Palin winking in the corner of the screen.
3. Give them the option to phone-a-friend.
2. Candidates surprise the audience with their new moustaches.
1. Viagra
October 7, 2008
- In support of John McCain, McDonald’s announces new McMaverick sandwich
- Barack Obama drops Alaska from his universal health plan
- Gay couple fights for right to divorce
- Report: Barack Obama once met guy who knew guy who lived near terrorist
- Today the Pope denounced the financial crisis as proof that the pursuit of money is pointless. After his speech, the Pope flew back to the Vatican Palace in his private jet.
October 6, 2008
- Viagra Johnson still wondering why nobody ever opens her emails
- John McCain: “I will not rest until we find Saddam Hussein
- New iPhone app makes iPhone obsolete
- OJ Simpson: “I guess I should have killed the guy instead”
- “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” was the number 1 film at the box office this weekend, earning $29 million. If it continues at this pace, the film can raise the entire $700 billion needed for the government’s bailout plan in just 25,000 weekends.
October 5, 2008
- Struggling airline charges $50 to use plane bathroom
- Underwear company regrets using Netflix strategy to sell product
- Confused Russian soldier invades Atlanta, Georgia
- Sarah Palin’s husband challenges wife of Joe Biden to snowmachine race
- Donald Trump endorses himself for president
October 4, 2008
- Joe Biden wins debate, but would rather be called a VILF
- Suicide bomber “not concerned” about decline of 401k plan
- Congress outsources bailout plan to India
- Remorseful bank robber returns money to Washington Mutual branch
- Man quits Wall Street job to focus on avoiding jail
