San Francisco Comedy Blog

by Chad Lehrman

Doug Stanhope is touring his “cruel & unusual” comedy to rock clubs, dive bars, and backyards across the country, with a stop at Club Deluxe in San Francisco on February 15th & 16th.

Why did you decide to skip performing at comedy clubs on this tour?

There’s a lot of reasons. The money is better, the ambiance- the sense of chaos. The comedy clubs are so absolutely benign, like movie theaters. If you play in rock and roll joints, it’s loud and ugly and keeps you involved. You’re drawing people who know what they’re coming to see. You’re not getting a comedy club audience that just knows that any random magician might be playing for their bachelorette party at that specific address.

Is this how you plan to tour from now on?

Well, I much prefer it. I don’t like doing multiple shows in a night. I like to do one show and get the hell out of town. I’m just trying to work less in better places and keep my sanity.

Do you think that comedy clubs are going away?

No, I think comedy as a whole has definitely seen an upsurge in the last several years, but the way they run their business is not good for what I do. It’s nothing personal against comedy clubs, but it’s the way they train their audiences. If you go to a punk rock bar or a country bar, you kind of know what to expect, but comedy doesn’t differentiate, so comedy clubs play to the middle of the road so no one gets hurt. And so Verizon Wireless keeps booking their Christmas party there every year.

How did you end up getting booked in Las Vegas for a show in somebody’s backyard?

The dude’s a comic. That should be fun. That’s what it should all boil down to. You shouldn’t even have to bring your audience to a bar. If people have enough living space, you can do this at people’s houses and not have to pay $6 for a beer and worry about getting kicked out for doing blow in the bathroom. Everyone should be doing house parties and eliminate the bar all together. If you can get away with it- bands, any kind of live entertainment, you should be able to do on private property.

What’s your memory of winning the SF Comedy Competition in 1995, and what did that do for your career?

It gave me 10 grand. It was me and Dane Cook the entire competition neck and neck. I remember showering out of gas station toilets. I lived out of my car at that point so the 10 grand was the money I took to L.A. to get an apartment. That was the first time I’d ever met Dane Cook. His manager, Barry Katz, tried to bet me prize money on his guy versus me and I said, “I don’t even fucking know your guy, I’m not betting.” The first night of the preliminaries, me and Mitch Hedberg were hanging out, and neither of us came in the top 5 but Dane Cook came in 2nd or 3rd. We were just pissed and we were drunk and we wanted to quit right away- it’s a 3 week competition. So I walk past Barry Katz at the bar and he says, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t bet me prize money now?” I was drunk and talking shit and I said, “Fuck you, I bet you $100 I win this whole thing regardless of your guy.” He made the bet and I ended up winning by a fucking hair, and I haunted Barry Katz for a year to get my $100. I had to get it in payments. I’d see him at the Improv and I’d go “you still owe me $60.” I had my mother go up to him one time and say “you still owe my son $40.” He said, “I’ve only got $20,” and she goes, “I’ll take it.” So yeah, it took me about a year to get the full $100 from that prick.

Since you are advertising your comedy as “cruel & unusual,” what are some of the cruelest things you have ever said to an audience member?

Well, the one I actually had an apology for on my album “Sicko” was- this was years ago, in L.A.- this burn victim was at the Improv and I had to go up late. There were very few people left, and when the comic before me gets off, the only major group of people, probably 8 or 10 people in one section in the front, all got up to leave as soon as I went on. I said, “You can’t just walk out right now. If you guys leave, there’s no one left except the burn victim and the only reason he looks like he’s smiling is because he’s got no lips.” And evidently the kid started crying. He really did have no lips. He was a famous burn victim too. He’d been on Oprah and stuff. His Dad had set him on fire when he was a kid to get back at the ex-wife. He cried and walked out and I felt really bad so I apologized. That’s the only story that comes to mind.

Your shows are happening pretty much right at Haight and Ashbury- are you excited about that, does that mean anything to you?

The only thing that really means to me, since I’m not that old, is, I know I was in that area once when I was a younger comic and got some after show pussy at some girl’s house that lived vaguely in that area. Rather than wake her and ask her where I was, I just started walking until I eventually, hours later, found my way back to my hotel. So that’s what it means to me. I hope I don’t run into her again.

Buy tickets for Doug’s February shows in SF at dougstanhope.com.

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